Holiday Grief

vfunerals • Nov 28, 2016
A poem about missing someone at christmas

Grief and any feelings of loss about someone we love is the toughest during the holiday season.   Grief and the grieving process are different for every individual.  Here are some helpful suggestions that may just help you get through the holidays and may help you move forward in the grieving process of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.

-Do things to remember your loved one.  Make a donation to a meaningful charity, volunteer your time or talents in either your loved one’s or your favorite organization or charity in their memory.

-Make time for yourself.  Taking care of yourself (physically and emotionally) is very important.  Some days will be tough so take time to recharge yourself.  Take a day away in reflection while you do something that brings you relaxation (i.e.: take a walk, get a manicure and pedicure, go to the library, get a massage, go to movie).  Take time for yourself when you need it, but don’t isolate yourself from everyone that cares.  Isolation may cause cause the feelings of grief to intensify.  

-Give yourself permission to say “no”.  People try to help by inviting you to events or dinners, which is thoughtful. Don’t feel obligated to say yes to everything – make sure you do what is right for you.  Some people wear themselves out by staying busy to avoid or ignore the feelings about the loss.  If you need rest – rest.

-Change some holiday traditions.  Don’t change everything all at once, but give yourself permission to make new traditions.  Some ideas may be to attend Christmas services or go to Christmas events you have not attended before, prepare new dishes for dinners, or add new decorations.

-Do something for others.  Help a family in need of gifts or food or help serve dinners at a church or shelter.  Giving to others is a great way to get out of ourselves and improve our emotional state.

– Express your feelings.  Talk to a religious leader or therapist or write in a journal.  There are some Grief Support Groups you can attend online or in person that will remind you that you are not alone when it comes to the feelings of loss and grief.  If you express and talk about your feelings or things that help you to cope with loss, you may find yourself helping someone else move forward in their grief or you may learn something to help you.

Death of a loved one is never easy no matter the time of year.  All we can do is take steps forward to take care of ourselves for our family and friends.

A close up of a person 's hands out.

Religion/Faith/Beliefs: The Decline in Funeral Services

By vfunerals • 30 Nov, 2016
I do believe that every person has a right to whatever is best for them concerning religion, faith or beliefs. Or, whatever keeps them moving forward through this life. I hope not to offend anyone with topic. Keep reading and you will know why I thought about this subject.
There are many different types of plants on the table.

Holiday Grief

By vfunerals • 28 Nov, 2016
Grief and any feelings of loss about someone we love is the toughest during the holiday season. Grief and the grieving process are different for every individual. Here are some helpful suggestions that may just help you get through the holidays and may help you move forward in the grieving process of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
A man is running down a wet road at sunset.

Model T to Lamborghini: Today’s way of dodging emotions 

By vfunerals • 16 Nov, 2016
Emotions and feelings -some wear them on their sleeves and communicate how they are feeling while others run as fast they can away from any type of uncomfortable feelings or from communicating about it.
A group of people are standing in a church hugging each other.

CHANGE: Personalized or Old Fashioned Service  

By vfunerals • 16 Nov, 2016
Some funerals are just the typical “old fashioned” service – nothing fancy. Many times families are not offered different options or ways of making a service memorable or the funeral home just does not want to change the way they typically handle services. Sometimes during the service we are attending we don’t hear personal stories about who we are there to respect.
A cemetery with graves in the grass in front of a building.

The Shell of a Life

By vfunerals • 10 Nov, 2016
The Ancient Romans held that the soul of man, although separated at death from the body, hovered around the place of burial for its continued peace and happiness, and required constant attention from the descendants in the form of offerings of food and drink. Should the offerings be discontinued, the Romans thought that the soul would cease to be happy, and even become a spirit of evil to bring harm upon those who had neglected the proper rites. This is from the book, “The History Of American Funeral Directing”.
A close up of an american flag waving in the wind

HOW TO FOLD AND MEANING OF FOLDS OF AMERICAN FLAG

By vfunerals • 07 Nov, 2016
I believe the American Flag is absolutely beautiful.
A urn is sitting on a table next to candles.

Cremation and Families Options 

By vfunerals • 01 Nov, 2016
Cremation has been on the rise for many years. Some families choose cremation because of cost and some because family can not get together to have a service for their loved one right away due to living in another state or country. Cremation can take place and then the family chooses a time to get together for a service and burial at a later date.
A pen is sitting on top of a notebook on a wooden table.

Stories of Funeral Director- Story 1

By vfunerals • 25 Oct, 2016
There are so many stories and things that have happened at funerals. Some are funny and inspirational and others sad and depressing. But, let start story #1 with a funny story.
A trumpet is sitting on top of an american flag.

HONORING A VETERAN- THE STORY of TAPS

By vfunerals • 25 Oct, 2016
It is still amazing to me even after 20 years of conducting funerals for veterans how the playing of TAPS still gets me choked up. How can a song have such a effect to honor a deceased veteran? As TAPS is played at Veteran’s funeral, if you don’t get choked up, then that is very sad. I have seen medals received by veteran’s that the families bring to funeral home, sometimes if medal is still in the box, there is a description of why and how this medal was earned. Absolute amazement what some Veterans did and survived for their fellow comrades and the country.
A wooden bench is sitting under a tree in a park.

Death, Grief and a Funeral Director

By vfunerals • 21 Oct, 2016
Death and grief can be traumatic and life altering. Death of a loved one and how we cope with it is important. The grief process can only start with viewing and being able to face the reality that a person we loved is not coming back to us. Every single person handles grief in a different way. I strive for a individual or a family to a have a chance to see a loved one and start the process of moving forward after a death by saying “goodbye” and facing the reality that the death has happened. As a funeral director, I believe my three main goals are: to use as much time as it takes to make a viewing of their deceased loved one the best it can be; to make the service as personalized in rememberance of the deceased and for the family; and to get a family or an individual moving forward in the grieving process.
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