Cremation and Families Options 

vfunerals • Nov 01, 2016

Cremation has been on the rise for many years.  Some families choose cremation because of cost and some because family can not get together to have a service for their loved one right away due to living in another state or country.  Cremation can take place and then the family chooses a time to get together for a service and burial at a later date.

Today there are many different reasons for a family or a individual to choose cremation.  I have heard many people say, “Just cremate me.”  Many times they are thinking it would be easier for their family and not of the grief processing and sense of closure that a service can bring. Sometimes it is a financial factor or a simplicity factor for the family.

The first cremation option for the family is to have a chance to say goodbye if they are not with their loved one when he or she passes. Sometimes families are scattered across the country and there is not enough time after death to say goodbye unless viewing takes place within a 24 hour period. After 24 hours, state law dictates the body will either need to be refrigerated or embalming will have to be done.

Another cremation option is to have a full service first and then cremation. There are caskets specifically designed for cremation and there is also a casket that can be used and the interior of casket is a cremation container that is replaced. It looks like a regular casket and you will not be able to tell that the interior is removable. This may be the best option when a loved one requests cremation but family wants a chance to celebrate their life. After cremation the family can plan a private burial of remains at a later time.  Ashes can be scattered as long as permission has been granted by the land owner. The only regulation is that scattered remains are not permitted in any water source or body of water.  Some families decide to keep the ashes at home, it is all up to the family and what they think will help them through the grief process.  Please read the previous blog I wrote about grief.

A picture of a coffin that says norwood on it
A wooden coffin with the lid open and a white blanket inside.
When planning for a funeral service (with the body present) or a memorial service (without the body present) it is important to bring in personal items to add to the service and to create a display of pictures.  When having any type of funeral, memorial, or celebration of life service, it is important for a family to discuss ideas of how to personalize the service for their loved one.  If family doesn’t have ideas of what they can do, I hope the funeral director brings up ideas for the family.  Over the years I have done many different things to make a service personalized for the deceased and the family.  It may be to play the deceased’s favorite song, display collectibles, or even have a procession of tractor trailers to the cemetery.  It can be anything that the family feels best represents the life lived when it comes to honoring the one they love.
Not only are there all kinds of options with cremation and personalization but also many different products and merchandise that have been introduced to help families take a step forward in the grief process.

A brochure for crystal legacy includes a picture of a man in a cowboy hat A book is open to a page that says Two brochures one for lockers and one for um pendants A brochure for dog tags and rings is open to a page
When it comes to urns, it is unimaginable what products for families are out there.  Some families bring in there own form of a urn, tackle box, cookie jar and even a basketball.
Occasionally people I meet with say, “This might be a stupid question.”  Believe me, there is never a stupid question.  Please make sure if you have a question that you ask.  The service you are planning is for you to celebrate a life you loved; it is my job to help you in any way that I can.

A close up of a person 's hands out.
By vfunerals 30 Nov, 2016
I do believe that every person has a right to whatever is best for them concerning religion, faith or beliefs. Or, whatever keeps them moving forward through this life. I hope not to offend anyone with topic. Keep reading and you will know why I thought about this subject.
There are many different types of plants on the table.
By vfunerals 28 Nov, 2016
Grief and any feelings of loss about someone we love is the toughest during the holiday season. Grief and the grieving process are different for every individual. Here are some helpful suggestions that may just help you get through the holidays and may help you move forward in the grieving process of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
A man is running down a wet road at sunset.
By vfunerals 16 Nov, 2016
Emotions and feelings -some wear them on their sleeves and communicate how they are feeling while others run as fast they can away from any type of uncomfortable feelings or from communicating about it.
A group of people are standing in a church hugging each other.
By vfunerals 16 Nov, 2016
Some funerals are just the typical “old fashioned” service – nothing fancy. Many times families are not offered different options or ways of making a service memorable or the funeral home just does not want to change the way they typically handle services. Sometimes during the service we are attending we don’t hear personal stories about who we are there to respect.
A cemetery with graves in the grass in front of a building.
By vfunerals 10 Nov, 2016
The Ancient Romans held that the soul of man, although separated at death from the body, hovered around the place of burial for its continued peace and happiness, and required constant attention from the descendants in the form of offerings of food and drink. Should the offerings be discontinued, the Romans thought that the soul would cease to be happy, and even become a spirit of evil to bring harm upon those who had neglected the proper rites. This is from the book, “The History Of American Funeral Directing”.
A close up of an american flag waving in the wind
By vfunerals 07 Nov, 2016
I believe the American Flag is absolutely beautiful.
A urn is sitting on a table next to candles.
By vfunerals 01 Nov, 2016
Cremation has been on the rise for many years. Some families choose cremation because of cost and some because family can not get together to have a service for their loved one right away due to living in another state or country. Cremation can take place and then the family chooses a time to get together for a service and burial at a later date.
A pen is sitting on top of a notebook on a wooden table.
By vfunerals 25 Oct, 2016
There are so many stories and things that have happened at funerals. Some are funny and inspirational and others sad and depressing. But, let start story #1 with a funny story.
A trumpet is sitting on top of an american flag.
By vfunerals 25 Oct, 2016
It is still amazing to me even after 20 years of conducting funerals for veterans how the playing of TAPS still gets me choked up. How can a song have such a effect to honor a deceased veteran? As TAPS is played at Veteran’s funeral, if you don’t get choked up, then that is very sad. I have seen medals received by veteran’s that the families bring to funeral home, sometimes if medal is still in the box, there is a description of why and how this medal was earned. Absolute amazement what some Veterans did and survived for their fellow comrades and the country.
A wooden bench is sitting under a tree in a park.
By vfunerals 21 Oct, 2016
Death and grief can be traumatic and life altering. Death of a loved one and how we cope with it is important. The grief process can only start with viewing and being able to face the reality that a person we loved is not coming back to us. Every single person handles grief in a different way. I strive for a individual or a family to a have a chance to see a loved one and start the process of moving forward after a death by saying “goodbye” and facing the reality that the death has happened. As a funeral director, I believe my three main goals are: to use as much time as it takes to make a viewing of their deceased loved one the best it can be; to make the service as personalized in rememberance of the deceased and for the family; and to get a family or an individual moving forward in the grieving process.
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